There’s much to be thankful for today.
I am thankful for the courage to take risks in the pursuit of happiness. Two life-altering decisions in one year is at least one too many, but I am also thankful for friends who support rather than judge. I’m thankful for all God has blessed upon me and to know His love will never forget me.
I don’t know who will read this, but I am throwing it out because I miss writing. It’s one more thing I’m thankful for despite how I have neglected it in recent months. While I’m being honest, I miss the interaction with others who share their thoughts and words with the world this way.
If I make no promises then I tell no lies. So, I may post again tomorrow; I may not. Happy Thanksgiving even if you’re not celebrating it today. I hope you enjoy time with your friends and families, not shopping.
There is a quote from Michel Foucault that I used as part of my profile picture on old blogs…
“As to those for whom to work hard, to begin and begin again, to attempt and be mistaken, to go back and rework everything from top to bottom, and still find reason to hesitate from one step to the next – as to those, in short, for whom to work in the midst of uncertainty and apprehension is tantamount to failure, all I can say is that clearly we are not form the same planet.”
– Michel Foucault, The History of Sexuality Vol. 2: The Use Of Pleasure
I had it under a photograph of myself standing on a shore, staring out at a bridge that, based on the photo, appeared to have no end. For such is life: we are always contemplating bridges, old and new. They take us from one side to the other, from one phase of life to the next. We build them between ourselves and turn strangers into friends; we burn them behind us when we part ways. We try to find the strength to step onto a bridge to the unknown; it could lead to success or failure.
I have attempted and been mistaken, many times. Time after time I find myself reworking everything from top to bottom, and always I hesitate from one step to the next. If “working in the midst of uncertainty and apprehension” means failure, then I have failed constantly, but like Foucault, I don’t see it as failure. I see it as life lived with purpose and meaning.
Once again I am reworking my life from top to bottom. I have left one home to find another. I carried only what my car would hold over 900 miles and moved in with my best friend and her family. I have to find a new job and new friends and build a new life. I am certainly uncertain and beset by apprehension with every step in the process.
But if you’re from my planet, I hope you’ll keep following my adventure, and seek more of your own.
F is for Friends, of which I’ve had too few, but I treasure the ones who are close to me, in the past, present, or future. F is for Family, which I’ve had and lost and hope to gain again. F is for Fun, which I need some more of. F is for Fiction, which I should write more of. F is for Fomenting Feelings into a Funk, which I need to do less of. F is for accepting Fate and Failing to Fear the Future Any Further.